“Artist??”

Introduction
I went to Russia to do NOTHING (a.k.a. write my manifesto) . I wrote a big part of it – but now I just don’t want to finish it. I figured out it brings nothing to you, so what is a point then. I will focus on healthy provocations, topics that I found helpful,… and I don’t know… other art shit…

My thoughts are not any inventions, they are just joints of studying individuals that I chose to be my personal heros. It’s a mixture of people from different areas.


Words that I write and speak in my life are always open to be questioned, provoked or shared, if you see sense in them. But I will always speak. I tried too hard to avoid that part of me, being a teacher – I guess my ego feels it has something to say.   

And now I will open with first topic 

“Artist??”

I got so many provocations in my life based on that.
“What do you even do?”
“What is the point of you as an artist?”
“This you call art?”  

Artist is a person who gets up between noon and 3 p.m., because he was drinking all night. He seats in corner of coffee shop with big scarf around neck. Then he rolls a cigarette, complains about how hard life is, starts drinking sometime after lunch that was actually breakfast,…than he gets an brief idea, fucks a little,.. and then he repeats that for rest of his life… This are of course stereotypical jokes that I am hearing about my life. I will not argue on this points, it would be hypocritical. And we all know there is always some truth in every joke. 

But Karl Marx already explained how this capitalistic work system functions. There is a boss and there are workers. Workers will never work as much as boss will want to. Even if you are hard worker, boss will always be more satisfied if you could do more! Because of that, worker never gives his all time best, he always holds back to some point! 

The only one who doesn’t hold back is artist.
Why would artist hold back an amazing idea that he got??
Why would he not write that perfect sentence in his book??
Why would he ignore the perfect melody in his head??
Artist would never say, “I will hold this one for later, so I don’t show all my best at once!”- haha, just thought of that is hilarious to me. I am not saying that with giving your best you will become good artist, that’s another topic. And as you can read form my words, artist is not only the one who creates art, it can be driven from many different fields of work. 

That constant fear in me as an artist is not knowing if that idea will work or not. You are there, in front of that void, there is no one giving you instructions of what to do, there is no system that you can follow and would bring you definite “gold” at the end. 

This is why it was so easy for capitalistic system to brainwash society. You get your job, you know what are your tasks, you know what are rewards and consequences of your work. And the promise at the end is “gold”. You just have to do what you are told and thought through life. Burden of not knowing if your hard work will pay off or not is some massive weight being taken away from individual. I am not saying you are all paid enough for what you do,… just about how the system works.

But imagine, to wake up every day with giving yourself the purpose to proceed on your idea without even knowing if it will bring you anywhere. Without knowing if it will work the way you want it to! And finding that purpose over and over again, each and every day. To continue doing what you do, knowing it might lead you nowhere! I would say this needs some fucking balls to decide to go on this journey! And even if you manage to succeed with good idea, on one point you have to let it go. You can’t produce same shit over and over again, the kid inside you gets bored – and you need to satisfy yourself with something that is bigger than that. And because you are your only judge, only you know what you gave into that particular work and how much you need to push to overcome that – so again, you start over without knowing anything – you just know you have to do it! Because even if you see it as your best work, there is NO rating scale that would guarantee you success. There are so many uncontrollable mysteries in art, that I just hope this words give you a bit of spark that might blow up the canister of highly flammable liquid.

So, to answer all those jokes with real answer.
“Artist??”
HE gives HIMSELF purpose to HIS existence, whole fucking life. Maybe it doesn’t sound much, but try and let me know. X